Hi fans,
I dont usually enjoying writing such subjects but I know I have the tendency to do so, as most people do. I feel myself in a comfort zone when looking back and uncertain when I look forward. Is this lacking of confidence? I'm not sure anymore. I do know what I'm capable of and at the same time, lackluster of. So instead of putting myself in such a uncomfortable state, why dont I step back and take a look around me? My wife, friends, hot dates, drinking kakis, colleagues, ex-colleagues, my dog, my fish, my DVDs . . .
All along I have this fear that I might forget things. Things happen so fast and you cant really recall everything 5 or 10 years ago. I kept a diary when I was in NS. I saw BT writing it every night, so I followed. Well, I cant really share those stories and hence, they will forever buried under my mind. Well, I do have the hardcopy though . . heh. I stopped writing it after ORD.
And just when I decided to step out of the cyberworld after my Uni days (a technology call IRC and ICQ), I was being introduced to MSN chat again. I heard of Yahoo chat before, but didnt bother to explore further. Probably less interesting I would say . . Hey, IRC and ICQ were two powerful revolutions ok?
Through MSN chatting with people I knew I came to know this thing call blogging. I didnt hear many people talking about it but it was gradually getting popular. And when I read the papers I found some grassroot leaders were also in it. It took me a while before I decided to pen my thoughts down. It wasnt easy because I didnt have any basis for writing. I keow I could draw to express my feelings. I knew I can talk to relate my thinking. But when it comes to writing, I'm a dumba_s. But then there's something I knew about writing - song lyrics. heh heh that's how I started my ever first blog title * Hopes and Fears * - a song album by the Keanes that feature my favourite song. Why do you hope for something that you would fear about it? It all happens in the wrong timeline. Blame the time machine.
I dont think many understood what I wrote. Even when I saw the comments, the annoymous just couldnt decide what she wanted to write. She deleted the first comment and then added another. And an idiotic English of me of course couldnt understand what it said. Talking about that, I sometime also got problem understanding what Fatmama is writing. Wondering did she fail GP like me . . haha. Sometimes I felt like a Japanese, whose words and thoughts usually carry an underlying meaning. It could be what the words already are, or otherwise. And as I write, I could feel my emotions play along and sometimes, lost my cool. Oh man, I just couldnt write without the four-letter words! Huh, now I know why my GP always flung . . . because the marker found it hard to understand the author . . . stupid markers! heh heh
And after a year's of blogging experience I realise this - I dont have to blog these things to remember them. Because they just stay in my head for as long as I live. I wont say only when I'm awake because I do see them recurring in my dreams too. It doesnt matter whether it's good or bad, because things happen and I'm part of the process. More importantly, I need to learn from the process and make sure the next chapter in life is for the better.
So, does that mean to quit from SR without a job?
Just when I was reading nicelegs blog I shared the same sentiments. Our pay is getting on par with the freshies but working at seniority level. Assuming more responsibility but yet, paid for what you first got in. Our increment was pathetically few ten dollars per month. It really suck. It puts pressure on everyone - me, my wife, my family, and myself.
And good news for nicelegs is that you have something to look forward to in June. I hope I could join in, really. Everytime when I flip through the photo albums . . nb, the trip is fu_king awesome! Yeah! Here's one of those . .
I can't help it. Here's another one . .
oh man
I wish I could put in more. As you know, I cant. There were more, everywhere, anywhere. They happened in places I've been to. It's just impossible to pen all down to share with my fans. But they are gonna to be in my head for as long as I live. It will be talked again when we gather in small meetings like bbq or chilling out.
And while I swish through the Friendster pages I came across this pal who travels alot and was/is a model. Anyway, I dont know her lar haha
Relevations
Just incase you are wondering why I could write that much . . . today is Saturday. And I'm spending my time in office to blog . .. woo o hoooo
I dont usually enjoying writing such subjects but I know I have the tendency to do so, as most people do. I feel myself in a comfort zone when looking back and uncertain when I look forward. Is this lacking of confidence? I'm not sure anymore. I do know what I'm capable of and at the same time, lackluster of. So instead of putting myself in such a uncomfortable state, why dont I step back and take a look around me? My wife, friends, hot dates, drinking kakis, colleagues, ex-colleagues, my dog, my fish, my DVDs . . .
All along I have this fear that I might forget things. Things happen so fast and you cant really recall everything 5 or 10 years ago. I kept a diary when I was in NS. I saw BT writing it every night, so I followed. Well, I cant really share those stories and hence, they will forever buried under my mind. Well, I do have the hardcopy though . . heh. I stopped writing it after ORD.
And just when I decided to step out of the cyberworld after my Uni days (a technology call IRC and ICQ), I was being introduced to MSN chat again. I heard of Yahoo chat before, but didnt bother to explore further. Probably less interesting I would say . . Hey, IRC and ICQ were two powerful revolutions ok?
Through MSN chatting with people I knew I came to know this thing call blogging. I didnt hear many people talking about it but it was gradually getting popular. And when I read the papers I found some grassroot leaders were also in it. It took me a while before I decided to pen my thoughts down. It wasnt easy because I didnt have any basis for writing. I keow I could draw to express my feelings. I knew I can talk to relate my thinking. But when it comes to writing, I'm a dumba_s. But then there's something I knew about writing - song lyrics. heh heh that's how I started my ever first blog title * Hopes and Fears * - a song album by the Keanes that feature my favourite song. Why do you hope for something that you would fear about it? It all happens in the wrong timeline. Blame the time machine.
I dont think many understood what I wrote. Even when I saw the comments, the annoymous just couldnt decide what she wanted to write. She deleted the first comment and then added another. And an idiotic English of me of course couldnt understand what it said. Talking about that, I sometime also got problem understanding what Fatmama is writing. Wondering did she fail GP like me . . haha. Sometimes I felt like a Japanese, whose words and thoughts usually carry an underlying meaning. It could be what the words already are, or otherwise. And as I write, I could feel my emotions play along and sometimes, lost my cool. Oh man, I just couldnt write without the four-letter words! Huh, now I know why my GP always flung . . . because the marker found it hard to understand the author . . . stupid markers! heh heh
And after a year's of blogging experience I realise this - I dont have to blog these things to remember them. Because they just stay in my head for as long as I live. I wont say only when I'm awake because I do see them recurring in my dreams too. It doesnt matter whether it's good or bad, because things happen and I'm part of the process. More importantly, I need to learn from the process and make sure the next chapter in life is for the better.
So, does that mean to quit from SR without a job?
Just when I was reading nicelegs blog I shared the same sentiments. Our pay is getting on par with the freshies but working at seniority level. Assuming more responsibility but yet, paid for what you first got in. Our increment was pathetically few ten dollars per month. It really suck. It puts pressure on everyone - me, my wife, my family, and myself.
And good news for nicelegs is that you have something to look forward to in June. I hope I could join in, really. Everytime when I flip through the photo albums . . nb, the trip is fu_king awesome! Yeah! Here's one of those . .
I can't help it. Here's another one . .
oh man
I wish I could put in more. As you know, I cant. There were more, everywhere, anywhere. They happened in places I've been to. It's just impossible to pen all down to share with my fans. But they are gonna to be in my head for as long as I live. It will be talked again when we gather in small meetings like bbq or chilling out.
And while I swish through the Friendster pages I came across this pal who travels alot and was/is a model. Anyway, I dont know her lar haha
Relevations
Just incase you are wondering why I could write that much . . . today is Saturday. And I'm spending my time in office to blog . .. woo o hoooo
One more photo to share
1 comment:
ya man.. pay sucks.. more stuff to do..
well.. now i donno if i can go in june la.. cos of work..
and damn right the photos are damn funny. haha
Post a Comment